What if I am not like Mount Zion?

Those who trust in the LORD are like Mount Zion,
   which cannot be shaken but endures forever.  Psalm 125: 1


This passage caused a visceral gut response of "Really God?"


I am afraid. I am afraid if I loose heart (which I often do) I will not become a beautiful strong mountain. It is funny. I feel so broken often I feel more like a puddle. But God says because I trust in him I am like a mountain. 


What if "strength" and "enduring forever", and "not being shaken" looks different than what I think it does. What if vulnerability and longing are where I become strong. I am still so fearful. Afraid to say what I mean, afraid to truly be known by God and others. Because what if I am rejected, would I still be strong? Not shakable?


I find I hold tightly to my longings and I don't allow them to be known, because what if I never have them? I would be weak, right?


But maybe, just maybe I would find my strength and identity in a God who can hear my longings, hold them, and offer me strength. He can hold me firm. He will not allow my identity to be shaken by this world. 


I am a mountain. I am strong. I am able to hold deep loss and grief and deep joy and hope. I am unshakable. Yes, yes, let this be true of me, and true for us all.